"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

- Joe Queer of the Queers
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Sunday, March 9, 2008

Ask Paul


Paul Filthy may be the modern-day combination of Albert Einstein, Dear Abby, Thomas Edison, MacGyver, and Dr. Love. The man seriously knows EVERYTHING, which is fortunate because EVERYONE has questions.

Lucky for you, Mr. Filthy has agreed to do a weekly spot on the Life Line to answer all your questions!

Email your questions to crystalsecretin@gmail.com, or leave them as a comment on this post.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ask Paul... how do you find a job, with no experience what so ever and in this shitty economy?

Travis Latrine said...

Dear Monsuer Filthy, Whats it like to be a Secretion, was it more than you thought it would be or were your expectations too high? And were you a Secretin before you were a Secretion?

-Travis Latrine

otter of no way out said...

i have to ask two of the most important questions ever

1) what is the meaning of life
are we just simple siraling coils of dna is there a purpose are we just a speck of dust in an atom under the nail of a bigger person in a simmilat universe


the second is

is there a god??

and if so why do bad things happen to good people and good things happen to band people
is there a just and loveing god?

Anonymous said...

Do you have a younger brother?

DADOO said...

What is the atomic weight of cobalt?

Anonymous said...

Hey Paul, if you werent called the Secretions, what would you guys be called? Just so we all know "what could have been".

PabtsThirsty said...

You Filthy, Filthy man..
What's the cheapest place to buy PBR in town?
I figure you would know, so relay your intelegence, Paul Dirty.

Secretin said...

Dear Mrs. Paula,

Where did the name The Secretions come from?
Where did Paul Filthy come from?
What about Mickie Rat? Is it an inference to Mickie MOUSE?

And finially, what's your favorite show to watch on Food Network? Don't be a pussy; I know you watch it.

007 said...

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And was his name Chuck?

Puttycat said...

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Ilovetoparty said...

Dear Filthy Birthday Boy,
What was the best Birthday gift you got this year?

Starlight said...

What's it like being roomates with Jesse?

Anonymous said...

Paul, why do you park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?

Lindsey Fiore said...

Mr. Filthy, If you were one of the lucky few in this world to obtain a superpower what would it be and why?
And another question. If you were to inherit a planet or an abnormally large asteroid what would be your first plan of action to do with said planet or abnormally large asteroid?

Branden Damnage said...

Sir Filthy, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? Also, what is your dream guitar?