THIS SATURDAY'S SHOW LOCATION MOVED...BARELY!!!!

This Saturday's show has been moved from 5525 Auburn Blvd. to 5821 Auburn Blvd. The show will be at The Kennel Club and will still feature the same great line-up! Same door time and price! STILL ALL-AGES!!!!

Lookout Mother Fuckers! We're BACK!!!!

BACK IN THE DAY PUNK video

Holy crap! That's all I have to say after being one of the chosen few to see the finished product of Rob Fatal's masterpiece! The videos for "Back In The Day Punk" and "Three Chords & a Fuck You" will be unleashed upon you all very soon! both were shot by our good pal Rob Fatal! Keep an eye peeled for the date and location of our video premiers for these two hilarious videos!

Insubordination Fest Weekend

Hey everyone, Crystal Secretin here!

Just dropping a quick note to let you know that I dropped Mick off at the airport at 5:00 am this morning and they are currently on route to Baltimore.

If you want to follow along with their adventures, I reccommend checking out the following sites:

Mickie's Twitter: http://twitter.com/mickierat
The Secretions Twitter: http://twitter.com/thesecretions
Mickie's Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mickierat/

Mickie is obsessed with his iPhone so you're likely to see a lot of updates from him.

GreasyHotMeatCheezy is OFFICIALLY here!

This morning The Secretions welcomed into this world a bouncing baby CD! That's right, it's FINALLY here! GreasyHotMeatCheezy is now officially available to the world. Check out these pages to get your copy if you can't wait for our CD Release shows and Summer tours (including Insubordination Fest):

DOWNLOAD THE LATEST SECRETIONS CD HERE:

GreasyHotMeatCheezy available for digital download!

BUY SECRETIONS CDs AND SHIRTS HERE:

Official Drool City Music Store

DON'T FORGET TO VISIT OUR STORE PAGE ON INTERPUNK.COM:

Secretions Interpunk Page (get CDs, 7"s, comps)

An average conversation on Paul Filthy's Gmail

A typical conversation on my gmail...

(vcntmnd is my roommate Jesse)

vcntmnd: I just found GURPS WWII, and GURPS WWII Weapons Supplement

me: HOLY CRAPOLIES! I AM SO GM-ing the FUCK out of that!

vcntmnd: I'm reading it now, its pretty fuckin awesome

me: please tell me they have simplified dogfighting rules

vcntmnd: lemme look

vcntmnd: I'm seeing a few different versions of dogfighting rules

me: ...wheres the "blow the fucking Nazi's out of the sky" rules?

vcntmnd: rofl

I think vehicles might have the best quick dogfighting rules

I can easily modify them if you think something is missing

me: yeah, I figured. Is there a skill set to dogfighting, or is it based mostly on "piloting"?

vcntmnd: ooh I just found a gurps wwii special forces supplement

me: HA! lol.

Jesse wants to be an airborne ranger...

vcntmnd: it looks like its detection piloting and gunnery

vcntmnd: it'd be easy to make rules as needed, HT rolls for blackout, or individualized maneuvers

me: sweet. I'd like to see "specilized" manuevers, like harder turns for pilots that can take them, etc. of course with me, theres the whole technical side of certian planes capabilities... ; )

....dont ever dive-bomb in a P-38... just warning you now...

vcntmnd: the ww2 books have prop hp, and wing hp that is lost in too steep of a turn, etc

its just a matter of balancing between style and bookkeeping

me: oh wow... it should be more of a matter of wing-shear... but ok...

me: is G-force taken into account for any of this?

vcntmnd: I only glanced at the rules, was busy reading about the mg42 with its 20 rounds/second

yeah gforce gets as complicated as you want it to

me: ....y'know, most german planes were equiped with those... on the wings and in the turrets... and they were built detachable...

vcntmnd: I got a plan. fly mustang, shoot down german, bail out, steal machine gun, win.

me: ...or... sneak onto german air base. Steal bomber... have 6 mg42's... win...

...OR... kill hitler=win.

vcntmnd: ROFL

or!

build tower, become necromancer, build army of undead, defeat hitler, steal hitlers face, BECOME hitler, win.

me: OR!

...invite Hitler over, get him drunk, and invite over lesbian college girls = WIN!

vcntmnd: OR!

invite over lesbian college girls, get THEM drunk, quit being such a nerd, win.

me: ....impossible... on both fronts... lets go with the Hitlers Necromantic Face plan.

vcntmnd: yeah.. thats what I was thinking too.

me: Hitlers Necromantic Face... sounds like a Death-Metal Band.

vcntmnd: I've already got a toon all rolled up, a dogfighting, zombie building, face-stealing, tumpet playing ww2, army-band private, named "Clarence"

me: ...is he secretly a cross-dresser? Y'know, when he's stuck across enemy lines?

vcntmnd: no.

zombies, remember?

vcntmnd: he kills enemy soldiers, cross dresses THEM, animates them as zombies, and pimps them out

me: ...ick!

"Hey, my Nazi-woman-man is cold!" I want my money back!

vcntmnd: lol

no refunds

me: ...asshole...

vcntmnd: it will say that clearly on the sign hung around the zombies neck, along with the prices, since zombies cant speak.

me: ...and they havent invented portable MP3 players yet... having one drag around a gasoline generator and a phonograph would probly be overkill, huh?

vcntmnd: overkills good, it's just not that economically feasible, the gas powered phonographs would be reserved for the best looking zombie-nazi-man-woman-hookers.

me: So all the scrubs just get signage... I see... you have an eye for marketing...

vcntmnd: and once the war is over, the zombies will be unecessary, and will be blend seemlessly with the members of the young republicans

a hidden army, lying in wait.

me: ...I thought that was what young republicans were... wait, is this historical fact?

vcntmnd: did somebody steal my fuckin idea?

vcntmnd: fuckin a, I kicked ass on that casserole

me: ...I'll try some tonight...

...casserole I mean... not zombie-nazi-man-woman-sluts....

Sent at 2:59 PM on Monday

We ain't no dummies!

Never let it be said that The Secretions (former and present) are an uneducated bunch! Former Secretions guitarist Molly Church just graduated from Penn State with her PhD in veterinary medicine! That's right, she is now Dr. Molly Church! Congratulations to Molly, her husband J.R., and both of their families! We are all very proud of her!