Ask Paul: Do Zombies Poop?

Dear Paul

Do zombies poop?

- Freak

As of late I have been entrenched with a multitude of zombie media (i.e. comics, movies, tv shows, etc.) and the answer to this question really depends on what type of zombie your referencing.

The classic Zombie (i.e the "Romero" Zombie) appears to be nothing more than animated flesh, in which almost all of its metabolic (including digestive) functions has ceased. As explained in the Romero film Land of the Dead, the undead would, in effect, gorge themselves until their stomachs burst, and furthermore the need to eat "flesh" is a hold-over from animalistic instincts in the lower functions of the brain, which for some reason seems to be the only thing still working in the animated corpse.

In the case of "Fast" zombies (i.e. 28 Days Later zombies), the "undead" (which are more "infected persons" than "undead corpses") seem to retain metabolic function. As seen directly in 28 Days Later, we see a few examples of the zombies vomiting profusely, lending to the probability that the same action is happening on the other end of the digestive tract. (yuck).

This is all, of course, is open to interpretation.

What I'd like to see here is "Why do the survivors of zombie films always make such horrible decisions?"

Tsk.

We should all ask Les Stroud of Survivor Man fame what he'd do in a zombie outbreak scenario.

Funny enough, today's word of the day is:

dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:
1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination.
2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.

-=PF=-