"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

- Joe Queer of the Queers
Secretions' items Go to Secretions' photostream

Friday, December 21, 2007

Guest Writer: Lys Mayo of Isonomy

Not along ago, Lys Mayo was a mute, timid slip of girl who never smiled. Literally. I saw her around on a pretty consistant basis for at least a year and never heard her speak or saw even a hint of a smile on her face. These days, she still looks timid at first but she's actually the demon drummer of a kickass new band called Isonomy with a mouth like a sailor. It still amazes me how much she's changed in such a short amount of time.

Here, in her own words, is why Lys Mayo smiles now, and where she learned to swear.

"Why do I love the Secretions? If you have seen these fine fellows live, or even walking down the street, that is a stupid question, and you should be shunned. I love the Secretions because they fucking rule.

They are by FAR one of the hardest working bands around and never fail to deliver. There is no such thing as an “off night” for them. Even at their worst, I challenge any other band to beat their stage presence and love for the crowd. They go out of their way to put on amazing shows and give to their fans. And their songs are catchy as hell.

For me it all started back in the days of Andy Hawk’s Punk Rock Academy. I remember first hearing Cemetery Pogo as I sat in a car in the parking lot of Albertson’s, banging my head against the window as I waited for my mom to come back. I was in love. I called in damn near every show to request it, and was never disappointed.

I never knew what this band really had to offer until I saw them live. Andy advertised a show they had at the Boardwalk, and after much persistence, I got permission to go, and my life began. I remember going…standing around awkwardly…watching. I had no idea what I was in for—the plethora of amazing songs, the pogoing, the in-your-face energy, the vulgarity. That was one of the most epic shows ever.

I was passing through the merch area when Danny stopped me to say, “Nice shirt!” (I had a Secretions shirt in my hand) All I could think to say was, “Uh…Nice band!” He thanked me for coming. It was pure magic.

From that day forward, I did everything I possibly could to get to every Secretions event. Ever. I have them to thank for everything good in my life now. They showed me what music was really all about, they showed me how to have a good time, and they showed me how to not give a fuck.

And then there was Twisted Christmas. They were doing an online raffle for two tickets to this annual Arco Arena event. I sent in my email expecting nothing. I never win anything. However, at lunch a few days later, I checked my messages to find a voicemail from the man himself, Danny Secretion. Yes, THE Danny Secretion. I won.

I almost died from hyperventilation, but I won. I got the tickets in the mail, and I made a shirt just for the occasion. When my brother and I arrived, we were late, failing to get the wristbands from Danny. So! Once inside, I did what any love struck girl would do; I jumped the barricade and sprinted full speed into the crowd, violently shoving my way to the very front. The Secretions were so energetic and eager to show what Sacramento punk was all about. That show was amazing. I have never enjoyed saying fuck that much in my life.

The most memorable moment with these boys was definitely playing with them at Club Retro for the New Year’s show. I almost died… again. I couldn’t believe it. But sure enough, it happened. I sucked, but it happened! And it was the greatest moment of my life. I don’t think anything will ever top that night. Of course, I have had such an honor a few more times since that night, but still. It was amazing.

Since then, my band has shared a few bills with them. I have gone to nearly every local show, and then some. I have become part of this incredible family. I have a reason to get up every morning. And lastly, I have developed an incredibly foul mouth and dirty sense of humor.

So basically I have gone from an awkward kid standing around at shows, perplexed by this dancing nonsense and hating my life into an awkward kid slamming into all those innocent bystanders with a reason to live and a place to go. All because of these guys. Without them, I would not live the life I lead. They inspired to me to get off my ass and start a band. They got me to try and DO something with my time. I am proud to call these guys my friends. They never fail to have my back.

Please don’t beat me up."

-Lys Mayo

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