"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

- Joe Queer of the Queers
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Monday, December 24, 2007

Guest Writer: Freak

I KNOW you've seen this girl before. She makes it a point to come to every show she possibly can. She's a little on the quiet side, but she's never been anything but friendly. Her name is Freak and she's proud of it. When I first met her, I thought she'd been a Groovie Ghoulies fan forever and figured that's probably how she got into the Secretions. After the Ghoulies broke up (RIP), Kepi invited Lys Mayo and Freak to be his backup band when he did acoustic performances.

The first time Freak played in front of anyone at the Javalounge, it was obvious that she was extremely nervous, but she still did a great job. Now she acts like she's been performing forever and her guitar skills have improved so much. Even though I rarely get to chance to speak to her, I've still been able to watch her grow into the music scene.

When I started this site and asked for people to send in their favorite Secretions memories, I didn't expect them all to be so...well...heartfelt. Y'know? The more I read these, the more I am reminded how I used to feel about the band when I was fourteen. Some of these stories are hitting so close to home that it's almost making me tear up. This is one of those stories.

"Back before I had heard of the Secretions, I knew nothing of the world of punk rock or even music in general. I was an anime geek, computer freak and had an overall mediocre life. Now I wonder how I lived without them.

Then during my sophomore year, I met Ian. He went to the same high school as I did (Kennedy), I hung out with him at lunch a bit and I noticed some CDs he always carried around which included the Groovie Ghoulies, Queers and of course, the Secretions. Later on that year, my mom took me to Vegas for winter vacation. We took a trip to their local Tower Records. There, I browsed the punk section and noticed 'Til Death staring back at me. Intimidated by the names of the tracks on the back, I bought it, brought it back to my aunt's house and popped it in for a listen. I don't remember too much about my initial first thoughts. I just remember Boner cracked me up. A lot. I used to go around school after that and told my friends to listen to that one track. They got a kick out of it too.

My first show was 7 months later, July 29, 2006. Bobby J, The Helper Monkeys, The Secretions and The Groovie Ghoulies. I mainly went for the Ghoulies since I knew more about them and such but was more impressed by the Secretions energy... it was just fun. My buddy, Marty and I hung onto the bars in front and just watched. We didn't dance, we didn't sing... we just let ourselves be amazed. My friend Lexy (who you will probably never see me at a show without) was also there and she liked them too. Yes, liked. After the show, I got introduced to Danny who said, "Yeah, I saw you and your friend! Thanks for makin faces at me! Not a lot of people do that!" It made me happy. And the love takes off.

By the way. I was so stupid, I thought Paul Filthy was Kevin Stockton. Yes. That friggin stupid. And I didn't even meet him and Mickie until way later. Anyways...

A couple weeks later, Lexy and I noticed another show. We might as well have just seen the same show again because it was The Mr. T Experience and... yeah... you get the idea. Between those few weeks (or days) between the two shows, I listened to them non-stop. I even picked up Coming To Save The World. This time I knew the songs which made it A LOT more enjoyable. And oh... we knew it. This was only the beginning. Non-stop Secretions shows from there on out!!! I don't think we missed one all-ages show. I never thought that I'd lose count of how many I've been to... but damn. I always liked how Danny would greet us at every show we went to. He became a friend and nothing felt better.

Then Arco came. As soon as we heard they were going to play, we bought tickets. Seat tickets. And boy were they lucky seat tickets. We arrived and stood in line for what seemed like an hour. In that duration, my friend said, "Hey, is that the bass player from Last Chance standing in line behind us?" All of us denied it and let the thought go until we were inside. Turns out the guy sat in front of us. There, we asked and indeed he was, "That one guy from Last Chance (Jesse)." He asked if we were there for the Secretions to which we replied, "Yeah! Can't wait!" He tells us to stay where we were so we did. The Secretions start playing 'Kick Your Daddy's Ass' and then we see Jesse rushing back up to us and he pulled out 4 wristbands, and told us to "Get down there!" We screamed joyfully, and rushed down to the stage right up front. BEST PERFORMANCE EVER. I'll never forget it.

Let's see... major highlights... OH! I know!

Went to a show in April this year at some venue I had never heard of with my friend Mike. My mom dropped us off there and we waited through just to hear the Secretions. Pretty good show I guess... but all hell broke loose in my mind when my mom told us she would be "unable" to pick us up. I looked around for people I knew and wouldn't ya know it? There was none. None that could drive anyway. So I asked Danny if he might know someone who could give us a ride home and... haha. Can you guess? Yup. My first and only ride in Lemmy the big blue Secretions van. Danny took us to Mickie's and from there, Paul took us home. I seriously cannot thank them enough for doing that. Ever.

The next big highlight would come later in June when I got them to play Lexy and I's birthday partay. I requested it to Danny early in the year and he said, "Sure, as long as you feed us." So I whipped up a few bands to play at Capitol Bowl. Yay! Twas an awesome show. If you missed it, you missed something amazing. Isonomy, No Admission, Little Medusas, The Secretions and The Cave Bats. But it was stressing. I was stuck setting it all up and running around doing things. I can't count the number of times Dan said "Hey. It's your birthday. Stop working so hard!" My mom says she actually feels better about me going to shows now that she's met the guys. Haha. Win win.

Eh... skip the yard sale. Everybody knows how awesome that was.

My number one favorite moment ever was a Kepi Ghoulie Javalounge show. Kepi had asked if I wanted to play American Idiot with him that night, so I agreed. I thought it was just going to be me and him but it was so much more than that. It's a big enough honor to be able to play with one of your heroes. But it is a SUPREME honor to get to play with two at once. Danny Secretion, Kepi, Rob Fatal and I ROCKED American Idiot and it was rad and... thinking back I was damn nervous. In fact, I had never played live before. My foot was uncontrollably tapping and I don't think I looked at the audience once. So yeah.

Nowadays, I watch a new part of the scene grow. I notice more and more kids coming in and even though I've barely been in a year, it makes me feel like some sort of Secretin veteran. Haha. I don't know where I would be without the Secretions. Seriously, I don't. I know that I wouldn't be playing Monday nights with Kepi, I wouldn't have met Alyssa Mayonnaise (there I said it), I wouldn't have a mind of my own.

Today, I'm still an anime geek, and computer freak but now I have a motive and a reason to live. Life has never been more exciting. I want to give everything back to these guys for making my life so incredibly wonderful. There's almost no other band in the world that can be both your heroes and your friends. I love these guys. And I thank them eternally."

- Freak

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