"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

- Joe Queer of the Queers
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Friday, October 3, 2008

Guest Writer - Annie Deranged


I’ll start from the beginning: the first time I heard the Secretions! It was sometime around 2003 or 2004. I was just starting to listen to punk and trying to find out about new bands, so I bought a Springman Records sampler CD. Not too many of the songs really stood out for me except for the bands I had already heard, and, of course, the Boner song! But I had no idea that the Secretions were local until I accidentally ended up at one of their shows.

The show that I ended up at was in 2004 at Capitol Garage, with the Helper Monkeys and Ashtray opening. I was hanging out with a few friends who lived in East Sac, and my friend’s dad apparently knew somebody in one of the bands and wanted us to check them out. So we all took a bus downtown to get to the show. I was really excited to see the Secretions and to finally go to a real punk rock show, since all I had ever been to before was Warped Tour and a few stupid Arco Arena concerts.

My friends felt a little out of place at the show, but I had a blast. I really liked the Helper Monkeys set, and LOVED Ashtray. After Ashtray finished playing I couldn’t wait to see the Secretions, but then my friend’s dad called and said he was outside and we all had to go.

So we left. And missed the Secretions. I was FUCKING PISSED.

A few months later I finally got to see them. It was an all-ages matinee at Old Ironsides. I went with a bunch of loser punk kids from my school, who were more interested in smoking weed in the alleyway and throwing rocks into windows than actually seeing the bands. I ditched them and still had a lot of fun, even though I didn’t know anybody and was super shy. After that I went to every all-ages Secretions show that I could make it too, and dragged along new friends each time, trying to find somebody who would also like them.

I have tons of other awesome memories from Secretions shows but I’m just going to mention two more.

Cesar Chavez park show 05 or 06 or something
I wore my first ever handmade Secretions shirt to this one. It was one of their “I Hump Groupies” shirts and I had made it into a pink tank top. Some random creepy dude in the crowd walked up to me and told me he loved my shirt. He looked to be about my dad’s age, and I was only about 16 so this really freaked me out, especially because of the general crowd that comes to Cesar Chavez shows. He asked to take a picture of me in the shirt and told me he was from Idaho or Iowa or some shitty place like that and that somehow he knew one of the Secretions. I uncomfortably agreed to be in the picture and then he finally went away. That shirt is buried in my closet somewhere and I hope to make it into something new eventually.

SOS Rummage Riot summer 07!
This show was a lot of fun because basement shows are a always a great time (as long as you stay sober enough to remember anything!), tons of awesome bands played, I was really excited to sell the custom Secretions merch I made, and I finally got to meet the Secretions and a lot of people who go to their shows! Being the anti-social hermit that I am, I didn’t really know anybody at their shows until SOS. Now I can’t even remember going to a Secretions show and not knowing most of the people. I had a fucking great time and I hope that next year the Secretions are broke again so we can have another one!

- Annie Deranged

PS - if you are interested in the shirt shown in the picture, it's still available. contact annie on myspace for more information about it.

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