"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

- Joe Queer of the Queers
Secretions' items Go to Secretions' photostream

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Ask Paul - Paul on Paul Action

This week, Paul sent in some questions that he would like to answer, then answered them. Enjoy!

*cracks knuckles*

"What is the white thing in a can of pork and beans?"

Thats the queen bean! All the other beans are just worker-beans. Really though, it's just a chunk-o delicious pork fat. Mmmmm. Pig-belly.

"Do fruit have feelings?"

Yes. Oh god yes.

"Where does botchulinum toxin come from?"

It comes from the bactirium Clostridium botulinum (yes, I googled the name of that one), which grows in contaminated food stuffs. It has a very close cousin, Clostridium botulinum which produces Botulinum toxin which everyone knows as Botox. They are both nuerotoxins that can kill you very easily. Scary, huh?

"What happened to those 'flying cars' we were promised back in the 70's?"


"Ninjas or Pirates?"

Neither. Giant space robots! Everyone always forgets the damn giant space robots!

"If you were Chuck Norris, how much ass would you kick?"

Way more than Steven Seagal, but not nearly as much as Samuel L. Jackson. I guess I'll just have to invent a "kickassometer" to get some factual data.

"How do I set up a RAID 0 stripe array?"

When installing windows XP, it will ask for a third party driver utility during installation. This will be on a floppy disk (remember those?). Also, be sure to make appropriate BIOS settings prior to starting the install process. If its going through vista, vista will automatically configure it.

"Sarah Palin is clearly an android. Who do you think built her and for what purpose?"

Liberal scientists are still unsure what the Palin-droids intentions are. Clearly they not logical or of good will and she was clearly designed and built by either a failed alien specie or a very deranged individual with horrible taste in eye-ware.

"How do jet engines work?"

Oddly enough, alot like a chimney. Y'know those big ol fans at the front of a jet engine? Well there are rows and rows of those all the way through the engine. The job of those fans is to push ALOT of air into the center of the engine, where fuel is added to the air and ignited. Since there is so much pressure going in one direction, the "explosion" is forced out of the other end. Think of a jet as a continuous explosion being pushed out of only the back end of the engine.

"What is the best way to treat an opossum bite?"

Why, with Dr. Filthy's award winning Opossum-Bite Tincture and Cure-All! Simply apply the Tincture to the wound, and in mere weeks you'll see a marked improvement!*

*results may vary

Symptomatic response to therapy with?Dr. Filthy''s award winning Opossum-Bite Tincture and Cure-All!?does not preclude the presence of gastric malignancy.Atrophic GastritisAtrophic gastritis has been noted occasionally in gastric corpus biopsies from patients treated long-term with omeprazole.Combination Use of?Dr. Filthy''s award winning Opossum-Bite Tincture and Cure-All!?with Amoxicillin.?Serious and occasionally fatal hypersensitivity (anaphylactic) reactions have been reported in patients on penicillin therapy. These reactions are more likely to occur in individuals with a history of penicillin hypersensitivity and/or a history of sensitivity to multiple allergens. Before initiating therapy with amoxicillin, careful inquiry should be made concerning previous hypersensitivity reactions to penicillins, cephalosporins or other allergens. If an allergic reaction occurs, amoxicillin should be discontinued and appropriate therapy instituted. Serious anaphylactic reactions require immediate emergency treatment with epinephrine. Oxygen, intravenous steroids and airway management, including intubation, should also be administered as indicated.Pseudomembranous colitis has been reported with nearly all antibacterial agents and may range in severity from mild to life-threatening. Therefore, it is important to consider this diagnosis in patients who present with diarrhea subsequent to the administration of antibacterial agents.Treatment with antibacterial agents alters the normal flora of the colon and may permit overgrowth of clostridia. Studies indicate that a toxin produced by Clostridium difficile is a primary cause of antibiotic-associated colitis. After the diagnosis of pseudomembranous colitis has been established, therapeutic measures should be initiated. Mild cases of pseudomembranous colitis usually respond to discontinuation of the drug alone. In moderate to severe cases, consideration should be given to management with fluids and electrolytes, protein supplementation, and treatment with an antibacterial drug clinically effective against Clostridium difficile colitis.Clarithromycin should not be used in pregnant women except in clinical circumstances where no alternative therapy is appropriate. If pregnancy occurs while taking clarithromycin, the patient should be apprised of the potential hazard to the fetus.?

No comments: