"The Secretions are men of peace in a world of mayhem. They are poets and onanists and bloodsucking freaks. They are punk rock."

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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ask Paul - Daily Double!

This week we've got a double whammy! Too whimsically fantastic brain teasers that OF COURSE Paul knew how to answer. Enjoy!

Dear Paul,
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?
- P.P. Dance in Lodi

Firstly, I dunno about you, P.P. Dance, but I do actually point at my urinator when asking for the loo. But in all fairness, it's probly just some lame "manners" thing held over from the victorian era, so I say that we should all start pointing at the appropriate orifice for the associated evacuation!

Come to think of it, if someone has to vomit, they usually point to or cup their mouths, right? Ok, well at any rate, if you have to poo, you really should point at your butt...and if its really bad poo...like just-ate-Jimboys-Tacos bad, then one could possibly make emphasis with small "explosions coming from my butt" hand movements while asking for the restroom. That should get someones attention!

Dear Paul,
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet if you're plugging something IN. Why isn't it called an INLET?
- Just Confused in Sacramento

Dear Confused,

Its called an outlet because it "lets out" electricity (regardless of which way the prongs go)...You know, like how an LED is a Light Emitting Diode and not conversely named a DSD or Dark Sucking Diode, or how scenesters at a punk show put out alot of suck, but are never referred to as removing alot of awsomeness...ok, now I'm just ranting.

- Paul

Word of the day is:
numismatics \noo-miz-MAT-iks; -mis-; nyoo-\, noun:
the collection and study of money (and coins in particular).

...so then someone that collects coins is a numismatist? Or, for that matter, someone that collects comparative data on collections of coins would be a numismatitian?


...just my two cents...

(haha lame joke)

(Note from Crystal: if you didn't get that joke, you're fired)

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